Do It Today

Kara Cutruzzula: Hi, everyone.

Welcome to do it today.

I'm Kara Cutruzzula.

And today I'm talking with
Alyssa Ages, who's an author,

freelance writer and copywriter.

Her new debut book is
called Secrets of Giants.

And it's a deep dive into the science
and psychology of why pushing our

physical limits is so impactful.

I really love this book.

Alyssa, thanks so much for being here.

It's Monday.

It's also the Monday after
the Thanksgiving holidays.

So A very busy, frazzled Monday
for a lot of people, and I was just

wondering what you're doing today.

Alyssa Ages: well, first
of all, I live in Toronto.

while normally this would be
Thanksgiving for me because I'm from

New York, it's kind of business
as usual here because Canadians

celebrate Thanksgiving a month earlier.

but I am coming back to all of the
connections with people from the US

who've been off for several days.

so definitely a busy day, but
I started out my morning with

some weightlifting in my garage.

So, some deadlifts and some squats.

I am also talking to you on this
lovely podcast, which is wonderful.

and then I'll be getting
my kids from school.

Kara Cutruzzula: let's talk about
the garage because I feel like it

plays a large role in your book.

and if you could just sort of explain,
what you were doing this morning, but

also how that relates to this, journey
that you chronicle in your book too.

becoming, competitive at these
strong men, competitions.

Ha

Alyssa Ages: we moved into our home
a couple months before the pandemic

started and my husband and I both
belong to a gym and obviously that

kind of ground to a screeching halt.

because we live in Toronto.

My husband was very much inclined to use
our garage as a garage for its intended

purpose, so that when it snowed, we would
have one car that was not covered in snow.

And I took one look at the
garage when we moved in and said.

This is too narrow for a car.

This is going to be a gym.

And I had to kind of like
slowly wear him down.

we started out with just a
set of adjustable dumbbells.

Then a friend of mine lent me
a barbell and you kind of can't

use a barbell in your house.

and then my trainer, reached out to
me and said, I, I heard about this

guy in Brampton, which is a suburb
of Toronto, and he's got a warehouse

and I don't know how it works, but
you just text him what you're looking

for and he'll tell you if he has it.

That guy to this day is in
my phone as Johnny plates.

I don't know his actual name.

and so we went, we picked up a squat
rack, we picked up a full set of plates,

and it's just kind of grown over time
into, like my toy room, I have a keg

in there, not full of beer, but for
lifting, I have some atlas stones, which

are like these big concrete boulders
that you lift as part of the sport of

strongman, a whole bunch of weird stuff.

that's become my gym, even, you know,
as we're able to return to a gym.

it kind of allowed me to train for just
general joy and also for competitions

because with two little kids, it's not
always easy to, to find my way to the gym.

and it's also become a place where
the kids will hang out with me when I

work out, which has been an absolute
joy showing them, the importance

in the fun parts about strength.

Kara Cutruzzula: Yeah.

And how old are your, daughters?

Alyssa Ages: They are five and
a half and then my little one is

going to be four in a couple weeks.

Kara Cutruzzula: And I love
that you have this, anecdote in

the book of them watching you.

And sometimes they might be a
little bored, but then sometimes

they're just like, well, can
I pick these things up myself?

And What you tell them isn't no, you
can't, but it's always, well, you can try.

And I think that's such a beautiful image
to impart to them, but also to anyone

who's reading just this idea of attempting
and seeing where you are and then getting

that little itch to pursue that in the
future and sort of say I can't do it now,

but maybe I can do it later And there
was this line from, your book about,

I'm going to paraphrase it, which is an
author's nightmare, but you know, that

you had, you had run a lot of marathons,
you'd done endurance competitions,

but you had always sort of done things
that you knew you could accomplish.

what suddenly changed in your
mind to sort of say, well, I want

to try something that I've never
done, despite how scary that is.

Alyssa Ages: when I had the realization
about that, I had been strength

training for a while and even competing.

but I was constantly, maybe not
consciously, but Looking for

things where I could succeed.

I didn't have to fear failure, which
is a kind of ridiculous thing to

think about in the sport of strongman,
which is entirely based on pushing

yourself to the absolute limits of what
the human body is capable of doing.

So it should be this, understanding that
inevitably you're going to fail, but.

Even when I started doing that sport,
I would go to competitions and I

would get, you know, upset if I saw
the same women in my weight class

return time after time because I would
go, Oh, well, they're going to win.

Like, what's the point of me doing this?

What is the point of me going
and really forgetting that the

whole point of this is to see.

What you can do and
what you can accomplish.

And I think a big part of it for me
was this combination of turning 40, and

also realizing I was done having kids.

And during that time when I was
pregnant and postpartum, you know,

your body's not really your own.

had a sudden kind of craving of,
you know, this is I've hit midlife.

I've got two kids.

My body is mine again.

What can I do with it?

What can it do, you know, that doesn't
require any external validation?

so yes, I went back to competing and
yes, you know, you, someone is telling

you whether you did a good job or not.

but it stopped feeling like that.

Even the first competition that
I did after that realization

was just absolutely joyous.

I beat all of my own records.

it didn't matter if I beat anybody
else in that moment because I just

accomplished what I set out to do.

Kara Cutruzzula: I love this line
too from your book that you say it's

about the way being strong makes you
believe you can accomplish anything.

It's not just, Oh, I can
pick up this Atlas stone.

a lot of it is that, right?

That's the, I want everyone to Google
Atlas stone right now because it is

the largest folder you've ever seen.

but you have that strength in one realm.

how does that translate
into the rest of your life?

Alyssa Ages: it's maybe a little bit
meta, but, I don't know that without

those couple of years of doing strength
training, I would have had the courage

to say, I'm going to write a book.

that was, I think a secret goal for me,
maybe for most of my life, almost that

I didn't even really know about, but
I think it's that way for all writers.

And to go, okay, yeah, at 40,
I'm going to pitch this book and

try to start becoming an author.

that was something where, you know, I
would have really feared what people were

going to think about it and whether or
not it was going to be well received.

And I still worry about that a
little bit for sure, but I didn't

worry as much about failing and I
didn't worry as much about whether.

Not getting through a certain
part of the book writing process,

for example, made me a failure.

you know, I would kind of, let's say, have
something with the narrative arc that was

confusing or I couldn't get it to work.

And one of the things I would do is
I would go down into my garage and

I would lift or I would go on a run.

and that always kind of fixed that block
for me and helped me go, okay, look,

you just did something really hard.

you know, you just had to figure out
this complex idea of which way do I

move my feet or my hands or whatever
to make the barbell go a certain

way, or, you know, how can I push
myself to run a little bit faster?

You know, you faced.

Those particular opportunities for
failure and you found a way around them.

So how do you do that now?

Kara Cutruzzula: it's
a complex book, right?

it's your own personal journey, but
it's also research and interviews.

I just know how difficult that is to come
off so polished and, easy to understand

and easy to read, also meaningful and
emotionally impactful and all of that.

And I was like, Oh, I bet
this was a lot of work.

so I was just wondering, what
did you not know about writing

the book at the beginning of
the process that it taught you?

Alyssa Ages: I thought that the
hardest part would be the research.

but you know, I'm a journalist.

So the interviewing people and
telling other people's stories,

I was stoked to do that.

That I knew would be great.

I was thrilled to travel places
and interview people in person

and get these stories firsthand.

I did not expect that the hardest
part would be telling my story.

I think as a journalist,
not used to having to talk

about myself, in my writing.

So.

Constantly when I would have my husband
read drafts of chapters, and he was

like, more about you, you know, there
was one point where when I was writing

about stone lifting, actually, I had
pages on the history of stone lifting,

which was absolutely fascinating to me.

And he was like, yeah, I know this
is interesting to you, but to your

average reader, they just want to
know why this means something to you.

You know, they're only going to care about
it if they know why you care about it.

So getting that vulnerable and personal
was really difficult, but in the end,

I think it made it a better book.

Yes.

Kara Cutruzzula: And you mentioned
in acknowledgments that you had maybe

worked with someone to go there.

I mean, did you have a coach?

Because I know that, it's hard
to push yourself to do that.

And what were some strategies that you
use to uncover those personal details

that make the book come to life?

Alyssa Ages: so not during
the book writing process

during the proposal process.

Um, so there were two things.

so I had been out of the writing
game, the journalism game for a while.

I went back into journalism before
I had the idea for the book.

And to do that, I decided to treat
myself like an absolute beginner.

And I took a class by this wonderful
woman, Susan Shapiro, who, if anybody's

thinking about getting into writing
into freelancing, she's the best,

she really pushes you to, you focus
on personal essays and writing.

Why should somebody care about the story?

They're only going to care about it
if you have a personal stake in it.

And I would try, I would pitch her all
these ideas that were kind of like, Oh,

well, you know, I found these letters
from my grandpa to my grandmother.

And she was like, yeah,
but why do you care?

How does that impact your life?

So going into writing this proposal,
I've already had that in my mind.

and then a friend of mine from
university who's a five time

author, his name is David Sax, he
worked with me on the proposal.

And as we went through that,
he would also kind of push me.

He's like, you know, open
up a little bit more here.

This isn't a thousand word piece.

You have room, What did the room
that you were in smell like?

What did it look like?

What were the people around you doing?

What were the sounds?

and really talk about what it felt like
for you to be there so that you can

bring other people into that spot too.

Kara Cutruzzula: Think.

People kind of don't know that,
like, writing a proposal is

almost harder than writing a book,

Alyssa Ages: 100%.

Kara Cutruzzula: right?

Like, I don't know what it is.

Is it the condensing everything?

Is it the fact that you have
to have the entire book in mind

before you actually write it?

So you're doing all of the
research, and then condensing

it to this beautiful outline.

I don't know.

Alyssa Ages: my basic way of going
about things has never been let

me write up this full outline.

if I have a great lead.

I can just.

Pour the piece out from there.

But I have to have that.

And I almost always have to know
what the ending is going to be.

But the middle part I just kind
of, I usually just like, like

to let that flow out as I write.

So having to put it all out there in
outline form was Very strange for me.

I think the easiest part of the
proposal for me actually is the part

that a lot of writers struggle with,
which was the marketing part, because

part of my background is in marketing.

So that was a joy coming up with, you
know, the stats of how many people

are doing this sport and this sport
and what's the likely readership

and that part I actually enjoyed.

Kara Cutruzzula: Oh my
gosh, you're a unicorn.

I think uh, in that respect,
but as we're talking about, it's

elements that you break down, right?

And it just, it reminds me of, the
process of getting better at anything

is just boiling something down into
its parts and then really focusing.

And, sort of reminds me of, These
moments in your book where you're

really concentrating on a specific
lift and, the method and process

that you're doing to accomplish it.

the step by step process.

And I feel like you and your trainer kept
like trying to nail that exact, sequence.

Right.

Alyssa Ages: Yes.

And I also worked with a performance
psychologist when I was getting ready

for a national level competition you
know, there was one particular lift.

Anything that I'm putting overhead
has always been really scary for me.

and I wanted to get to the root of that.

working with her was so phenomenal
because she helped me understand

that it wasn't this kind of,
basic cliche fear of failure.

but that what was happening for
me was that I would put obstacles

in my way to avoid failure.

because if I did everything right,
if I followed all my cues and I still

didn't get something, then I would
have to face the fact that there was

something that I maybe couldn't do yet.

That there was something
that was out of reach for me.

And so instead, I was coming up
with excuses, like fear, to avoid

putting myself in that situation.

It was really interesting.

So she had me focus instead of, you know,
approaching the bar and saying things

to myself like, This is lightweight.

You've done this before all of
these kind of nebulous concepts.

She was like, no, you have to go up
to the bar with three cues in mind.

What are the cues, the absolute things
you need to do in order to nail this.

And those are the only things I want
you thinking about as you do that.

And that has been a huge
game changer for me.

you know, what do I need to do when
I take the bar out of the rack?

So it.

Feels lighter, and then
where do my hands need to be?

Where do my feet need to be?

What are those couple of things that I
can do to give myself the best chance?

And then now, when I do all those
things and I still don't get it, I

can look back and go, okay, well,
how do you fix that for next time?

yes, you, you remembered to bend
your knees, but did you push your

knees out instead of inwards?

it allows me to sort of diagnose
the problem in a way that I

wouldn't have done before.

I would have just...

Maybe gotten frustrated and walked away.

Kara Cutruzzula: Right.

And then say, Oh, well,
I just, I can't do it.

It's, it's an overarching
umbrella of this is too hard.

so this morning whenever you went into
the garage gym, do you have a sequence

of, things that you're planning to do
in like a workout that you do every day?

Do you sort of rotate, according to a
larger plan or, or how did you know what

you were doing whenever you went in there?

Oh

Alyssa Ages: my coach
writes my programming.

So I know what I'm doing, you know,
every day of the week that I go in

there, I have everything written down.

Despite the fact that I was a trainer.

I just don't think I could do that myself.

I appreciate having somebody else
kind of push me in that way and he

understands, down to these little things
about the way that my brain works.

Like instead of writing, you know, you're
going to do one rep at this weight.

He knows that if I see that my
brain will go, Oh, he only wants

me to do one because it's heavy.

So sometimes he'll write one to two.

or two to three so that know,
my brain goes, Oh, okay.

Well, he knows I can handle this.

So I can handle that.

It's, it's a real kind of game
of, you know, psychology, I guess.

Kara Cutruzzula: so how long does that
work out usually last and then you

sort of Go about rest of your day.

Alyssa Ages: more often than
not, I am doing that workout

at five 30 in the morning.

Kara Cutruzzula: I knew
you were going to say that.

I knew you were going to
say something like that.

Alyssa Ages: and to be clear, I've
said this to people before, you know,

it's not, there is no motivation.

It's not like, oh, I'm
motivated to get up at 5.

30 AM because of X, Y, Z.

It's like if I set my alarm for 5.

30 and I wake up and even if I'm
tired, what will happen is my

brain will go, okay, well, if
you didn't do it now, you could.

Push this to this time and this and by the
time you've figured all that out and done

all that mental gymnastics You're awake.

You might as well just get up and do it
So, I'll just get up and go down to the

gym And I you know, I also need to be back
upstairs and showered and ready for my day

before my kids wake up at 7 o'clock it's
kind of the only timing that works for me

Kara Cutruzzula: how does writing play
into your day to day, when you were

writing the book, obviously, I'm sure
that was like very intensive, deep work

blocks of, either research or interviewing
or writing, but now that you're, you

know, freelance writing and working
on getting the book out there, what

does that part of your day look like?

Alyssa Ages: I cannot just sit down
at a computer and start writing.

like, I have to be in
that right frame of mind.

That said, I can do it anywhere.

if I'm in the right state of mind to
be writing, if I've got an idea, if I'm

feeling that kind of spark, I can be home,
I can be in a coffee shop, I can be in

a library, um, it doesn't really matter.

And background noise is usually
fine with me most of the time.

I wrote a tremendous amount of my book in
the public library, just cause I started

to really like it there, but I'll often
start my day in the library and then

around lunchtime, go to a coffee shop.

so I get that little bit of a brain break.

usually if I can't come up with what I
want to say or I'm hitting that sort of

block, I will go for a workout or a run.

in fact, the very first freelance
piece that I sold, after kind

of coming out of journalism.

Mini retirement, was to Wired magazine.

And it was about how, you know,
an old school runner like me

learned to love virtual races.

And I came up with the
idea for it while running.

I literally stopped mid run,
pulled out my phone and left

myself a voice message about it.

Kara Cutruzzula: so incredible.

And then suddenly, the piece
exists in the world and, I was just

wondering, like, if you have any
strategies or tools, that you use?

I mean, maybe they're strength
training related or, writing related,

digital, anything like that, that
you feel like if this disappeared

tomorrow, I would go completely crazy.

Alyssa Ages: Coffee?

That is mostly serious.

it's funny.

I want to be the kind of writer that has
like notebooks and I always look at them

and I collect them and then I don't use
them because I have horrible handwriting.

there's not a lot of like methods or
apps or things that I use for my writing.

so much as just kind of trying to
find, I guess, the mental space for it.

and with lifting, I think just having,
having the great space to do it and having

my coach, I really don't know if I would.

Lift to the extent that I do now.

If I didn't have him, we've been working
together for seven or eight years now.

Kara Cutruzzula: Did you start
with a coach or, did you start

yourself and then decide like to?

Get to the next level.

I need to make that kind of investment

Alyssa Ages: When I kind of made
the shift from doing marathon

training to doing strength training,
I first started doing CrossFit.

So that was all group classes.

when I found my way into strong
man, I literally day one hired.

The coach that taught the group
strongman class that I was taking

because I knew it was such an odd sport.

And all the lifts are so awkward and
you don't know how to move things that

there was no way if I really wanted to
do this, that I could do it on my own.

and I worked with that coach
until I moved out of New York.

So about two years.

and then I found the coach that I
have now when I moved to Toronto.

Kara Cutruzzula: and it just sounds
like That is sort of an X factor in

your relationship lifting because you
are, certified personal trainer, right?

So so you could make a program
and but it sounds like that,

that relationship, gives you that
external accountability to, right.

Alyssa Ages: You know, I know, like I
don't skip a workout, I think, because

I don't want to have to tell him that I
skipped a workout, it's very, very seldom.

Like when I was on deadline to finish
the book, I would occasionally I'd say

to him, Hey, I had to make a call here.

What's going to, what's going to
make me feel better today this

workout or getting this writing in.

And 99 percent of the time,
the answer is the workout.

Sometimes you have to do the writing too.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Kara Cutruzzula: Usually you can
sneak in the workout and then you

feel much more energized to get
that spark and to do the writing.

But, I think purgatory is, Waking
up and starting to do the mental

gymnastics as you said of well, it's
a little late to run now So maybe I

can do a lunch run, but never works
out Well and so that get up and do

it always seems To be the way to go.

you know, you have an early start
you have a very full and, energizing

day, I was wondering how you unwind
at the end of the day and what sort

of signals that end of day to you.

Alyssa Ages: So usually my kids,
the kind of bedtime routine starts

around 5 30 by having dinner and
then they're in bed by seven.

you know, if I'm not going somewhere
and being social, usually my husband

and I will either sit somewhere and read
together or we'll sit on the couch watch.

Some show that we've been binging, maybe
have like a little snack on the couch

because we eat with our kids at five 30.

you're going to be hungry at some point.

I've always been a big bone broth fanatic.

and I have recently discovered
powdered bone broth.

as it's getting really cold where I
live, I'm starting to make that kind

of my like last thing, before bed.

Is just making like a nice cup of bone
broth and it's just great because it kind

of sets me into that sort of tired time.

one thing I didn't truly didn't
anticipate about book writing was how

much anxiety I would have all of the
time about getting it out into the world.

so I'll take any trick, anything
that I can do to make sure that

I'm going to sleep without.

My mind racing, a million miles
a minute about what else could I

be doing right now you know, to
get the word out about this book.

Kara Cutruzzula: Yeah, how does
it feel now that the book is out?

it probably took a couple of years
since the proposal to, publication.

what does it feel like to you?

Alyssa Ages: I think I had the idea
for the book in like December 2020.

then the proposal got sold to
a publisher in July of 2021.

So it has been a really long road.

I think.

Everyone has these expectations, even
if you don't say them out loud, you

think that things are going to go a
certain way because that's what you've

seen from successful books, right?

You've seen that people go on morning
shows the day that their book comes

out and all of those things and no
one really tells you that that's not

how it goes for 99 percent of people.

so I don't think I anticipated how
much work would be done on my end

to, promote and market the book.

but every time I get an email from
somebody talking about how it impacted

them, I feel really good that I did it.

and it's not like those
come in constantly, but I've

gotten a handful of them.

And when they do come in, they are
really, really heartfelt I've had

people say, you know, this, changed
the course of their life, which is.

A wild thing to hear about
something that you produced.

to know that there's that impact
on even a handful of people

has been really incredible.

I've had a lot of male readers tell
me that they want to give this book as

a gift to young women in their life.

Um, in particular, because of
the chapter about body image.

that feels really incredible because
part of why I wrote that and why I

was so vulnerable in that chapter was.

Because I want my daughters
to read that when they can.

And I want it to have that impact on them.

Kara Cutruzzula: I'm a hundred
percent convinced that this book

will find, all the people that it
needs to find, and more, it's really

a, wonderfully inspiring, not just,
you know, if you are considering.

incorporating strength training into your
life, but just if you need that push to

try things that you haven't done before
and to get outside of your comfort zone

and to, really lean into the diligence
and patience and possibility of failure

that comes with, trying something new.

So thank you for writing it.

I really loved it.

Alyssa Ages: Thank you.

Kara Cutruzzula: I'm so glad we
could, hear more about your day

Alyssa Ages: Thank you
so much for having me on.

This was wonderful.

I love your podcast it's really
an honor to be a part of it.